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  • Sarina Shirazee

What's the rush anyway?

I was so thankful and relieved recently to see a kindy teacher in a mainstream school, nurture and support a 4 year old boy experiencing separation distress for a fair portion of the morning. ⠀

She stayed with him the whole time he felt sad. ⠀

She didn’t try to talk him out of his feelings. ⠀

She didn’t try to distract him. ⠀

She didn’t tell him that he was being silly (nor did she think it). ⠀

She let this boy walk around with her while he was upset, hand in hand. ⠀

Every time she heard the boy begin to cry, she rubbed his back and gave him a reassuring smile while she continued to teach the rest of the class. ⠀

She made sure another adult comforted this boy when she took her recess break. ⠀

She didn’t expect the boy to join in with the other kids. ⠀

I saw this when I went to visit this little boy and see what I could do to help. But I realised that he was already in good hands. I thanked the teacher, to which she seemed confused, saying that she was doing what any teacher would do. Sadly this isn’t the case. ⠀

It is completely understandable that not all teachers can do this (teachers have a lot on their plates). ⠀

I was just so heartened to see a teacher who got it. ⠀

Who understood human nature. ⠀

Who didn’t try to “toughen” this boy up. ⠀

Who didn’t think that she was damaging this boy’s independence or resilience. ⠀

Who didn’t leave this boy to deal with his big feelings on his own. ⠀

It breaks my heart when I visit schools and see children upset, and adults ignoring them. Behaviour is communication. There is an unmet need, and it’s our job to figure out what that need is. ⠀

I wish everyone knew that dependence breeds independence. It can’t be rushed or forced. It’s human nature. It’s neuroscience. ⠀

What’s the rush anyway?⠀


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